Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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