Just mADE A PArabola og urine
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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