We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
