You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
