They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
