beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
