well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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