Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
