I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
