and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
