Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
