is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I am one with the molecules
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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