rhymes with "ouble enetration"
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Randomize