im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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