oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
