Say something about gay babies.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
