he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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