ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
