But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
