You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
