I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
