It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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