Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
