Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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