he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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