so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
