Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
