these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
