I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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