Nicole vs. Life
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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