My cat gives me a boner
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
