I can't watch pbs sober anymore
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
