Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
