We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
