Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
