Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize
