Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
i drank out of a bidet.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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