My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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