Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Well I just put wine in my tea
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
