Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
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