OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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