he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
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