DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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