Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Randomize
