...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
