Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
