Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
