The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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