no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
he was CRYING into my vagina
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Randomize