we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
