Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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